Hi!

Book 2! - Tlalocan

Its april of 2026, 13 year old Juno back then met Vicki, or Vivi, and over the course of 2 years, everything goes to shit. Thats how i see it now that its been 2 years from that thing, Ill refer to five stages of that, Saturn, as my 0-13 year old self, Leah as my transition stage, 13-14, and in order, Haru, 14, and finally, Juno, 14-today, well, i became best friends with Vivi over 3 months, we knew mostly everything about each other, nothing fancy at all for people who met like 3 months earlier, welcome to thr prologue of the biggest catastrophe of my life yet. Its August 19th, 2024, in my mind, a snowy night, outside, a rainy night, its 7:49 PM, in Mexico, a normal night, but for me, a dark night, probably the worst ever, i was animating for Murder Drones Silverix, and i asked Vivi if i could use Amanda, a character made by her on Silverix, she didnt answer back, i thought she was asleep, so i didnt push much, i went back down, since i had to do something i dont remember, i went down and did something, and then came back, my tablet was on the floor, i didnt have a phone back then, it broke, so finally, i took my tablet, shattered to hell, heaven and back, "Whatever" i thought, "I might repair it if i wanted, my beloved white tablet stayed shattered for all that it lasted, whatever, it doesnt matter right now, i went to sleep afterwards, hoping to talk to Vivi once more, but... i couldnt find her, talk to her, or anything, maybe she was still asleep, days, days, days turned into weeks, and naturally, i grew worried about her, i asked everywhere, where was she? how was she? what is she doing? is she okay? my mind raced worse than a metro in hurry, and at the week, i sobbed, i genuinely sobbed, little Juno didnt know, this issue would extend to 2 years, for the first month, i tried direct contact, at the month and a half, indirect contact, people joined and left me, i didnt care, i was loyal, and when december came, it was christmas eve, my parents, family, everyone was smiling and stuff, i was out, looking at the sky, wondering where was Vivi, where could she be, is she happy? is she okay? i miss her... i looked up, hoping she would see the same thing as me in the dark christmas night, i was worried, Donald Trump had been elected as the US president, she isnt exactly american looking, so i grew worried, he promised essentially to make the life of the citizens worse by the second, especially immigrants, women, and all minorities, and soon enough, January came, first reports of Americans being deported just for their skin color and stupid stuff, and i was worried, i was slowly going insane, i became overly religious, thinking my spirits do know better, but no, until January 4th, i woke up, sad as ever, fun fact, i actually cried every night nonstop to sleep, hugging pillows, while in school, i was numb, collapsed because of exhaustion at some point, i was pretty much literally dying, my body was pale, i didnt think straight and ate little to none, an exam was done of me, and Major Depressive Disorder was detected, only god could save me, the doctor said, and well, god never came to my rescue, January 4th, as i say, i woke up pretty much half awake, i take my tablet, beloved Gta7lite, and i start looking through my notifications, and then, i found it, a notification from what looked like Vicki, if i clicked it, i had to decide, roll the two sided dice, either i get hurt by someone that acts like Vicki, or i get to talk to her one last time, the gamble was big, very big, so i took it, and yes, it was Vicki, we played Roblox for a while, and i was left so melancholic but happy, i cried in happiness, i won, we won, and guess what? the reason she wasnt there for a while was because her parents got suspicious of me, and they put the fault on Vicki instead of me, and ever since, i became too closed off, but whoever got close to me could have my soft and kind side, i am not a saint, i am not the best, im human, im one out of all 8 billion people, but now, look at me, its January 4th, and i am happier than i was before, in November 2024, November 4th, i died, Saturn died, so Leah could livr on, i suffered a condition called emotional disassociation, and nearing emotional death, that night of November 4th, i couldnt sleep, i sobbed all i could and let all tears that i could, i was left out like a mess, i was not doing anything, i remember listening to Starshine by Gorillaz, and for context, that song is like, the definition of boring and skippable, but the definition of dying was closer, i was half lidded breathing shallowly, my mind felt like mush, i didnt react to anything, i was static, i didnt think much more than "What have i done?!", i stayed like that until i fell asleep, and when Leah was born in my mind and took control, i woke up panicking, i actually thought i was just born, but quickly, i felt like if i started becoming someone else, my name, back then, was Leah Victoria, Leah is a name i took from Vicki, and Victoria is just the long version of Vicki, i went, and started a new life, in March, i was again, going insane, i was constantly praying for her coming back, but God never came, he abandoned me, i in that moment, started saying "I am not a human, im a god, im a god of my own, im a god to myself, nature is my heaven and the christian god abandoned me", which led me into a subplot of finding my religion, needless to say, i am atheist, although symbolically, i refer to the Aztec gods, since its cool as heck, and theyre nature based, so with that, Leah, the persona, became more and more hopeful, and sure enough, many months later, in July, July 13th, Vicki came back, she texted me, and i lost it, i was screaming and yelling in happiness, i was in bliss, i talked to her, and well, needless to say, we love each other as sisters now, shes my sister, i elected her, i chose her, she chose me, this came with complications later on, i was traumatized, essentially, and every time she was not answering, i panicked, so bad i got to the point to desperately want to call her, but she always came back, this went on until September 1st, 2025, when i last talked to her directly, she told me she had to go, her parents didnt let her have a phone or anything so i talked to her, neither they would want to know anything about me, which hurts, but still, i told her that i would be here for her, and nothing else, that i love her, and ill wait for her, anytime she comes back, she left, and i went to my room, crying, telling myself "At least i got to tell her goodbye", i literally also was eating ice cream, i dont remember if napolitan or vanilla, i dont really remember, i later got contacted by a close friend of her, telling me i had nothing to worry about, and that she would let me talk to her, i was happy, but not much, i guess i just needed her, i often find myself wanting to hug her, to feel her warmth and her comfort once more, but well, life goes on, Leah that night, died killed by my current persona, Juno, where my name comes, Nola Juno Vixkii, shes the one that essentially keeps me from going down, right now, i am not depressed (I believe), but i got emotionally scarred for a while now, and even if Vicki lived hell through her parents, i still believe, i would give my life to her, because if somebody kills my sister, somebody's getting killed too, needless to say, Vicki and i still talk to this day through her channel, and i often find myself thinking, if i had a chance to revert all of this, i wouldnt take it, because while there might be a better world, i want a world where i suffer for her, and not without her, I feel like sometimes, i rather love the source of my suffering rather than not having it, there, call me Jose Jose or some stupid shit, i really am dumb, but yeah, Welcome to Reality, where kids get physically abused by their parents and then blame it on them, and let the other ones suffer because law allows it. I lived this alone because all the people i asked for comfort rejected my plea of help, so i had to fight it myself, now that people see what happened, i reject their comfort, because i became stronger by myself because the world we live in isnt kind, and everything is against us, unless you pay out your sentence in dollars.